Make girls want you
When we make an unexpected comment to a girl, when we tell someone we like them, when we express our opinion on a controversial subject, or we call someone’s attention, we are polarizing.
Polarizing offers a means for us to express ourselves honestly and demonstrate emotional independence. It is related to actions or phrases that have an effect on others. In many cases, polarizing generates amazement in others: they are expecting one thing and get something different. Polarization is a powerful way of creating attraction. We run the risk of being rejected or disliked by some people, but we may also touch upon others’ feelings and desires.
As with the other concepts related to self-development, it is important not to think of it exclusively as a seduction technique, since that would make polarization less than honest. In fact, polarizing is closely related to authenticity, with being unpredictable, and making the other feel they are in an emotional rollercoaster.
People unable to polarize tend to fall into dull conversations. There are many who dislike polarizing because they want to avoid confrontation and controversial subjects, which constitutes a very poor and unattractive attitude. They try to get everyone to like them, and the only thing they achieve is to be neither loved nor hated by anyone. The truth is that they are not showing themselves as they really are, they are not exposing themselves.
When we show interest or name something that we like, we are polarizing. When we name something we don’t like, we are polarizing too. This is not to say we should go around imposing our whims, saying everything that crosses our minds, or fighting everyone, but that we should be vulnerable and speak with honesty―to defend our point of view even if this makes us liable to negative value judgements.
If, having asked her out, a girl won’t give us a straight answer, we could cut to the chase and tell her: “If you are not interested in hanging out, it’s OK.” If she says “yes”, then, great. If not, well, too bad. There’s no point in wasting time with someone who has no real interest in you. It’s important, however, that we are understanding and respectful, that we walk in the others’ shoes. There’s no need to be intolerant.
Confrontation, which often entails polarization, is very closely related with attraction, and we will hardly be able to attract someone if there is no confrontation at some point. A man who is unable to be polarizing, who is afraid, and acts needily towards others, will probably not be open for fear of upsetting a woman. Most likely, he will also not dare wear the clothes he likes for fear of what others might think.
Men who are unable to be polarizing usually fall into what is known as the “friend zone”. They might get women’s approval, but they will hardly generate attraction. In contrast, men who expose themselves and openly express their desires without constantly requiring external validation, tend to spark attraction and interest in others. It may happen that a woman who was not in the least interested in us suddenly starts feeling highly attracted. It is important to understand that polarization is a way of generating emotions in others, and we can’t expect everybody to feel attracted towards us. We have to learn to live with the rejection of people who don’t share our opinion, attitudes, or points of view. We will be compensated with highly honest relationships.
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