Are all Women the Same?

«Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.» ―Albert Einstein

Are all women hysterics? Don’t women enjoy sex just as much as men? Where does the problem really lie? In our social environment, in women, in us? One frequently hears that women are all the same, in reference to them all being “mean” ―not just some of them, or most of them, but all of them.

This assertion passes judgement on all women alike, when really whoever is pronouncing it probably only knows a couple of them. 99.99% of women, then, are sentenced for charges they might actually be innocent of.

The first lesson I learned on seduction was that perhaps it wasn’t that women were wrong, but that I was wrong in my approach at picking them up. It was ever since then that I started to address the situation differently, and hence obtain different results. A mistake I repeatedly made was giving too much of myself (I tried too hard) to women who didn’t reciprocate. I thought that if I showed them I was kind, they would hold me in better regard. Silly me! All I was doing was showing a poor and very needy attitude. How come they ended up with men who didn’t value them as I did? Why did they go out with guys who were less attractive than me?

I sincerely believed women were very confused. But it was then that I started realizing that it was me who had it all wrong, an insight which put me in an advantageous position. If everything was in the hands of others, then there was nothing I could do to change things. Now, however, I could do something: I could change my attitude and my behaviour; and then, women’s responses changed. I stopped seeing myself as a victim to women, and gave up trying to seduce them in search of their approval.

Step One: Assuming Responsibility

I therefore learned that I am responsible for everything that happens in my life: what I accomplish, how I feel, and how others treat me. Instead of pointing fingers and blaming others, I started analysing my mistakes and looking for ways to do better. It is quite common and normal for our minds to create rationalizations that justify our behaviour. This is how we keep pain and rejection at bay, and we keep ourselves clear of any blame, by laying it on others. Through this logic, though, all we accomplish it to always be surrounded by incompetents, when really the change has to come from within.

It is important to realize that we are treated however we allow ourselves to be treated. Our behaviour affects others’ behaviour towards us. If women take advantage of us, it’s because we let them. If our superiors at work mistreat us, it’s because we let them.

The attitude we take towards others will spark a reaction. Whoever thinks women are “cold bitches” should think of what he might be doing to get that response. Those who say that women “are all the same” are most likely putting themselves as victims in order not to take responsibility for their attitude towards others. This is nothing more than a way to dodge responsibility for their mistakes.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that those who accuse women are completely mistaken. But even if it were true that, let’s say, 50% of women from certain city are immature and malicious, the problem starts when we restrict our focus to that 50%, and place ourselves in the role of victims without looking for any alternatives. We would be allowing those observations to determine the outcome of our attempts. This is just a way to escape the guilt and the sense of responsibility that come from knowing our endeavour was bound to fail.

There are thousands and thousands of single women. If a man cannot find the right woman it is because he is looking in the wrong places. He then judges hundreds of women unfairly because he is not willing to accept the responsibility for his failures. And if you happen to identify with this kind of thinking and attitudes, I recommend you try to become aware of the areas in which you are failing and reflect on that ―not just in relation to women, but in your life in general. The world is not against you.