Most books or seduction guides will try to give you advice on what to do or say to women. They will tell you which techniques are best for you to get not only her, but any woman and almost instantaneously.
This guide is not about what to say to women, but focuses on creating a more attractive personality. It will not be instantaneous, it will take time, you’ll never able conquer them all and many will reject you.
But if I can assure you one thing, it will work!
The reason most books do not work is because they do not address the underlying problem, instead they promote techniques that attempt to compensate for personality deficits. They seek to cover up the problem but not solve it, however your fears and insecurities are still there. It’s like trying to cover the crack in the Titanic with a bandaid. No matter how many you use, it will never be enough.
Those for whom these techniques will be necessary subconsciously feel they are not good enough to conquer them. Men who are most successful are those who do not see the woman above themselves. Thus the game becomes simple and natural.
That is why I faithfully believe that success with women is based on the development of our personality. Self-development and being an attractive man are inseparable. If you are failing with women, you are doing something wrong. In this guide I will present 10 different habits that will help you do so.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 1: Responsibility
The first lesson I learned in the art of seduction. Taking responsibility means that it can be my fault if something is not going the way I want.
Why? Because this will give us more control over our lives. If the fault can become ours then at least we can do something to change it.
- If you are having problems with money, do not blame the economy.
- Not blame them for being cold bitches if you are having problems with women.
- If you are having problems with your business, do not blame the market.
I’m not saying these observations are all wrong but they are preferring to complaining and become victims rather than trying find a solution. Many people do this so to evade facing the blame for having failed.
Instead of believing that all women are cruel to reject us, we should investigate what the reasons might be. No (healthy) woman is going to want to reject you simply for fun.
Change the “Why me?” for “What I can do about it?”
How to be more attractive man – Habit 2: Assume she likes you
Stop making excuses to go talk to her and assuming she will not be interested in you because of your own insecurities. Instead, believe that she is interested because you’re an interesting person.
Some of the typical excuses:
- She will not be interested
- I should continue reading and practicing
- She is out of my reach
- My biceps are not big enough
- She is sure to have a boyfriend
This does not mean that sometimes you’re not right: Maybe she’s not interested, maybe she has a boyfriend or maybe your biceps are not big enough yet. But to assume that she likes you will give you two advantages:
The first is that you are not even allowing yourself to try it when many of those ideas are a figment of your imagination. She really could be interested in you.
The second advantage is that you are going to start talking to her with a different attitude. It does not matter if it is talking to a woman, starting a new project or winning a football game. It is proven that having a positive, realistic attitude generates more assertiveness for the achievement of our goals.
So every time you see a girl you like, say «hello», from me.
I’ll take a break here as I do not want to sound like typical uplifting books. To assume that someone likes us in itself is vague and superficial. It would be impossible to achieve this in a real and consistent way if we do not invest in ourselves and have no projects or ambitions.
As I say in my book «Seduction Simplified«: How attractive we are to women is directly proportional to the amount of energy we have invested in ourselves, both physically and emotionally. If we have a strong appreciation for ourselves, it is difficult for us to meet someone whom we believe is not within our reach.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 3: Do not be afraid of rejection
Do not let rejection affect you!
I have met many people who place too much importance on a rejection as if it has a real meaning. The only thing you are avoiding is learning, and saving yourself from the discomfort of that «no». She does not know you and there may be thousands of reasons why she does not want to be with you, such as «your biceps are very small»… just kidding.
The truth is that often we judge a rejection from our own metrics and insecurities. Sure, she rejected me because I’m ugly, my hair does not look good, I’m a loser, my sneakers are not Nike, etc. All crap.
Their reasons for rejecting you may be very different from those we imagine, so we should care very little.
I’ve been years in the field of seduction and received hundreds of rejections, probably many more that anyone who is reading this guide. I admit that some have hurt me, from either inexperience or being attacked unfairly.
I remember one night…
Having already been some months as a coach, I saw a girl sitting in a disco and I sat next to her. I was aware that it was a risky move but nothing I had not done before.
She looked at me with the face of a rabid dog, almost foaming at the mouth as she barked insults at me. Completely rejected, I left with my tail between my legs and I could not get close to another girl all night. I felt horrible.
I have had very few rejections like that and today they mean nothing to me. She probably had a bad day. Maybe she broke up with her boyfriend or her dog had died. Maybe she didn´t like my face but that wasn´t my fault either.
It is said that Thomas Edison made about ten thousand attempts before creating the lightbulb: he claimed that each attempt took him one step closer to success. Failures are nothing more than experiences, and a life full of experiences is a richer life. Whether they are good or bad experiences will always depend on our attitude and what we can learn.
Most people tend to take things too personally and that is where reactivity is born. Yet, what does it mean to take something personal? It is a way of valuing everything that others tell us or do as something real.
Do not expect that everyone will accept you.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 4: Be a leader
Leading means taking the first step, most women will wait for you to do it. This does not mean giving orders but giving a direction.
Taking risks is part of leadership and means being willing to be rejected. You have to go for the first kiss, turning a conversation sexual, annoying or playing with her or even something as simple as telling her when something does not seem right. If she does it first it is fine, just do not wait for the initiative to come from her.
One tip I think serves well is to change indecisive words like «maybe» and replace them with assertive words like «let’s», «I want ...» «We can go to…», etc. it shows that you have defined ideas and goals.
Even if she rejects you, in many cases she will respect for having balls to have tried.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 5: Give her a genuine compliment
Show her that you like her giving her a genuine compliment. No need to say that at the beginning, but at some point in the conversation. The best way is being clear and specific with the first thing that catches your attention. Maybe it’s her red lipstick, her tender smile or how much you like her hair pulled back. If you have trouble saying anything specific, just use generic compliment such as «You look incredible.»
It is important to note that these compliments are sexual, not emotional. Expressing our sexual desire is crucial if you do not want to end up in «The dead zone»… I say «The friend zone». Unless, of course, that is your wish.
The truth is that women want to feel admired and desired. But there is a big difference between expressing our sexual desire honestly and selflessly and an adulation that is dishonest and looks for a reaction from the other party.
A funny anecdote I mention in my book «How to talk to girls«…
I was in Vietnam and met a girl at my hotel. From the beginning we had an amazing connection and we talked for half an hour without stopping sharing our experiences. Actually, everything was fine but at no time had I shown sexual interest with her.
Now what I did after I cannot say if was right or wrong, it just came to mind. «The truth is you’re a very sexy girl» I said without any holding back. Her eyes widened as if not believing what I had just said. My feeling was that she had not liked it and she disappeared. I just went on with my life.
The next day we met again, had an incredible afternoon, kissed and lived happily ever after… okay, at least until our trip separated us.
A few days later, I asked her what she had thought about my straight forward comment about how attractive she looked. She told me she had been very surprised and had not known how to react.
I confessed I was afraid that she would see me as a friend after our nice talk. She laughed and said that before I said that she thought I was just being friendly.
Remember, if she really interests you – tell her, because even if you fail, you make clear what your intentions are, and you show that you have the courage to say it.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 6: Be funny without being a joker
It is well known that laughter is one of the classic tools in seduction. We can hardly attract a girl if we do not make her laugh.
It is shown that women laugh with the men they are attracted to, so she will laugh with much more ease, if she likes you.
It is important not to be excessive, not to be trying to maintain the interaction, but something that is natural. In humor, it always works well to maintain a serious posture when we make a joke and not be the first to laugh.
Flirtation is a form of humor in a sexual way. It expresses our sexual desire without showing desperation and does it in a fun way.
Here are some examples:
- Can you fix my cell phone? – Why? – Because for some reason your number is not in it.
- I propose a challenge to you – What? – I’m going to give you a kiss, and if you do not like it you can give it back to me.
- Were you ever arrested? – No – Seriously? It should be illegal to look so good.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by you again?
- Were you in Antarctica? – No – Me neither! We have so much in common.
Remember that the phrases themselves mean nothing, but it is the attitude and behavior that express value.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 7: Generate a unique connection with her
A unique connection is the basis for any relationship: family, friends, couple. These make us subconsciously feel we always knew that person which generates confidence.
We all have jokes that only our best friends understand and no one else knows what the hell we are laughing at. The internal jokes are related to specific places, or the experience of shared moments, which make a person generate happy memories with us. The more happy memories she has with us, the more important we will be in her life.
Some EXAMPLES creating a unique connection:
- You can annoy her with something she has said incorrectly and create a funny nickname about it.
- Expressing our opinions honestly and not taking it back if she disagrees with our values, this is important to make real and authentic connections.
Generating a unique connection is intimately linked to being vulnerable. It is simply to show ourselves as we are, that is as someone who does not pretend to be perfect.
We must be clear about what the intention is. If our intention is to impress someone, we are not really exposing ourselves. There is no real connection to our emotions and that is what really matters. The exhibition does not have to do directly with what we say but with the emotions we want to convey. And it is in sharing the same emotions where the connection with the other person is generated. Understand this: here it is not possible to cheat! We can simulate having the same emotion, but I would not recommend it. It doesn´t work in the long run or make you a better person.
It is necessary to speak of feelings. If we try to expose ourselves with a girl just to go to bed with her, the only thing we are going to end up doing is exposing our desire to end up in her bed. We must be honest with our intentions. It is important to be authentic, even when you are afraid or nervous to show yourself in such a way. This is perfect.
You can find more information about vulnerability in my article, What is being vulnerable?
How to be more attractive man – Habit 8: Emotional boundaries
Those people with well-defined emotional boundaries are responsible for their emotions and actions. They determine a healthy, strong identity and not a needy one. They do not play the victim or blame others for what happens to them.
Most fights between couples usually occur because they do not establish the emotional boundaries that correspond to each party well. On the contrary, if each of the members of a couple assumes their own emotional responsibility, they will achieve a healthy relationship.
The relationships that work best are those in which you do not need to blame your partner for your emotional state. An example of this could be if your girlfriend forbids you from seeing your friends because it creates jealousy. If you are not giving real reasons for that to happen she should be responsible for how she feels, it is product of her insecurity (unless of course, you are being unfaithful).
On the other hand, if you let her interfere and you do not see your friends you are showing weak emotional boundaries that also show great insecurity.
Forms of not respecting the boundaries
- Does not respect when you say «no» or «yes» / Does not know how to say «yes» or «no»
- Someone who always wants to be right / You always want to be right
- Does not respect your physical space / Does not respect her physical space
- Someone who never keeps their promises / You never keep your promises
- Being attacked, whether with jokes or not, periodically / That attacks others
- Does not respect you physically or emotionally / Does not respect others physically or emotionally
- That they tell you what you need or what you should feel / That you tell others what they need or should feel
- That invalidates your feelings by dictating what you should feel / That invalidates the feelings of others
Personal boundaries are determined by how responsible you are for your own emotions and actions, as well as not taking responsibility for the emotions and actions of others.
A relationship should not be determined by demands and sacrifices whether with your partner, friends or family. This does not mean that sometimes we do things for others for the simple reason of wanting to. The problem lies with waiting for something in return or being afraid of the consequences if we do not.
How to be more attractive man – Habit 9: Be clear about our life purpose
The purpose of life is to follow our own passion. Make your life an adventure that they want to be part of. This is a point that perhaps many fail on, and it is very common to see how there are relationships that decay by the simple fact that men put them as a higher priority, thus losing their own identity.
There are those who leave all their activities or friends for their partner. They make them the center of their universe, which is very unattractive. No matter how virtuous it may be, it will inevitably be a relationship with an expiration date.
Lack of self-confidence and lack of a clear purpose for life are the main shortcomings of an emotionally helpless person, who will tend to prioritize others rather than themselves.
Do not misunderstand me, it is true that it is important to have a balanced life, but whatever your life purpose (whether: building a business, studying, traveling the world, etc.), you must give it a certain priority.
How to be more attractive man – HABIT 10: CONTACT
How to get their contact information? Simple, just ask her.
- I want your number
- Give me your facebook
Why so simple?
Any woman who is interested in you, will want to give you their contact information, if not, the problem lay not in how you asked but how the interaction unfolded.
Go ahead and ask!
How to be more attractive man – CONCLUSION:
Before you go out and use this guide in search of women, there is something else that is important to mention.
Neither this guide nor any book will be the solution to all your problems, but they are tools that together with your commitment can take you further. As we talked about, the development and investment in our person is very important to generate attraction in women, but even more important for our relationships and happiness.
The idea is not to create a life that revolves around women but that they are the ones that want to fit yours. An attractive personality does not consist of phrases or lines but a certain character of its own.
As you get to grips with these issues, your confidence will gradually grow. That is why it is important that you take action and put into practice everything you just read to incorporate and naturalize these habits.
«10 ATTRACTIVE HABITS» IS ONLY AN INTRODUCTION TO «HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS» AND «SIMPLIFIED SEDUCTION«. FOR THE COMPLETE VERSION CLICK THE LINK.