Since the first books on seduction were published, the use of methods to attract women, and the learning of them, has been the object of many criticisms and controversies. One of the most frequent challenges claims that the use of a method would imply that all women are the same. The answer to this sort of objection is simple: any kind of social research is based on the observation of repeated behavioural patterns. Ultimately, the fact that there is such a thing as psychology does not mean we all have the same thoughts and feelings. The same happens with seduction. Regardless of sex, no two individuals are identical, but most people manifest shared behavioural features.
Another very frequent criticism is that seductiveness is innate, and it cannot possibly be taught. Those who present this kind of argument seem to be unaware of the fact that throughout their lives men and women acquire and develop ways of seducing. Some do it without realizing, some study to achieve it, and many develop their own methods. I believe nobody can categorically judge whether a method is good or bad, but perhaps they can be gauged on the basis of its efficacy. As the American expert Leil Lowndes puts it, “true love is a luxury, not our preordained birthright. As with achieving any luxury, we must examine the most powerful methods to acquire it.”
Your method may be based on buying flowers, dancing, playing an instrument, complimenting, lying or being completely honest. Quite a few years ago, during my first nights out, my “method” consisted in simply sitting down and waiting for a girl to come up to me…and it worked, but with very few girls! Let’s just say it was a very limited “method”. The desire to overcome that limitation was what led me to research the most effective ways to attract women.
Nevertheless, my main aim here is not to expound on the most effective seduction techniques and methods, but rather on how we can successfully become more attractive as individuals through personal growth and awareness of our own potential.
My first steps in the world of seduction
When I was 19 I was madly in love with a young woman who in those times was beginning her career as a model. I liked her very much. I thought of her as the love of my life and I couldn’t get her out of my mind, but no matter what I did, my attempts at winning her over were in vain. And it was during one frustration-riddled night that all my love for her started to transmute into anger and hatred. I felt betrayed. Back then I thought, “How is it possible that I, who offer her so much, come in second place to guys who ignore her or mistreat her? It makes no sense. She can’t be that silly!” During that night of dejection, I turned on the TV and, without paying much attention to it, I watched a show in which two young Argentinian men were being interviewed on the subject of seduction. They talked about their experience teaching seduction techniques, and they announced the upcoming inauguration of their very own academy, LevantArt1. These young men were Martín Rieznik and Mike Tabaschek, who would later become very good friends of mine. At one point in the interview, Martín explained that sometimes men blame women, and don’t realize they are the ones making a mistake. That phrase stuck in my mind for several minutes. It was at that moment that I started thinking, “what if I am the one doing things the wrong way?”
Suddenly, all the anger turned into enthusiasm: “This is a good thing,” I thought, “I can work to improve myself, to take control over the situation”. And even though that insight played a decisive part in my life as a man, this story lacks a romantic movie-like happy ending: I never got the girl. I tried for a long time and I failed. And you know what? I had to admit that in a certain way it had been my fault, and that encouraged me to improve.
A few weeks later I was starting my first seminar in LevantArt and reading my first books on seduction. It didn’t take me long to discover that the mistakes I had made with this young lady were much more common than I thought.
To my surprise, scientists all over the world had begun studying the process of seduction and were publishing their observations. The situations they depicted were not too different from what I had been facing. Not long afterwards, I met a girl who lived almost 2000 kilometres away from my home. She was just as beautiful and amazing as the previous girl ―or even more so. I was still a rookie as far as the art of seduction is concerned, but in my attempt with her I put into practice everything I had learned, and, after six months of communication via e-mail and telephone, I decided to meet her in person. Believe me, I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t thought it was worth it, and I made absolutely sure she wanted to meet me. I had never travelled that long a distance on my own before. I thought of it as a great adventure. In fact, I felt as a great conquistador in search of treasures in a distant land. I enjoyed bragging about the woman I was about to meet since I had never been with someone like her before.
Then came the big day. There I was, setting foot for the first time on unexplored lands. We had agreed to meet at the bus station, and though I waited for quite a few hours…she never showed up. I felt a mixture of loneliness and confusion. Had she tricked me? Had she got cold feet? My head swarmed with questions, but I couldn’t answer any of them. The fact is that I had failed once again. She never showed up, and even today the reason why remains a mystery.
Why am I sharing these experiences?
Each one of these experiences has led me to be who I am today. These situations were sometimes a source of pain and frustration, but nowadays I find them amusing. These experiences no longer feel like failures because they contributed to my personal growth, and they allowed me to help hundreds of men in my time as a coach.
It is said that Thomas Edison went through some ten thousand attempts before he actually created the light bulb: he claimed that each attempt brought him one step closer to success. Failure simply constitutes further experience, and life a full of experience is all the richer. Whether an experience is positive or negative will always depend on the attitude we take and the lessons we learn from it.
I think it is safe to say that by the time I finished high school, I had only been with three, maybe four women. I’ve lost count by now, but, exaggerations aside, it must be hundreds (which makes me a stud according to my father, and a Don Juan according to my mother). Regardless of the count, what I believe is most important is that all of the women I have been involved with were to my liking, and each of them brought something unique into my life.
My experience as a coach
I don’t consider myself a guru of seduction, far from it. I was a coach at LevantArt for three years, during which time I provided guidance for hundreds of men: professional men, businessmen, students and artists. They varied in age and came from different social classes. I had the honour of helping men old enough to be my father, and men who held jobs requiring great amounts of effort and training. Their desire to learn, as well as each of their conquests, was always a source of deep satisfaction for me. Nowadays my passion for seduction has extended to other areas, such as personal growth, communication, social dynamics, and psychology.
I was inspired to write this book by the publication of “El juego de la seducción: todo lo que un hombre debe saber sobre las mujeres” (which translates as “The Game of Seduction: Everything a Man Needs to Know about Women”), written by Martín Rieznik and Mike Tabaschek, where you can find some of my experiences in the field reports related to “el Alemán”. The ideas of the theorist and writer Mark Manson have also constituted a source of motivation, and I hope I can contribute in spreading them.
This work does not claim to teach magic words that serve as spells to pick up girls; nor is it the idea to make you believe that you can get any woman you want just by reading it ―that is simply not possible. What I aim to do through this book is to suggest different techniques and concepts that favour personal growth, focusing on how to deal with ourselves, and subsequently on how to deal with women.
I firmly believe that our “outer game” tactics should derive from our “inner game”. This is what it’s all about in the long run. It’s not about memorizing lines like an automaton to compensate for our weaknesses, but rather about changing the beliefs that constrain us through experience, thus overcoming our own limitations.
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